Delayed Plans

It feels like it has been way longer than a month since I did my last blog post.  I was supposed to start my last round of AI chemo on January 9th but, as most of you know already, my neutrophil count was way too low for that to happen.  Neutrophils are a specific type of white blood cell and they account for anywhere from 40-70% of your white blood cells - for me specifically they make up right arohmd 60% of my white blood cells. So, if your neutrophils are low you definitely have next to no immune system and are very susceptible to infections and illnesses. 

My initial reaction to the delay was straight up disappointment and frustration because I was so close to the end and being able to move onto the next steps of treatment.  Then one of my next thoughts was that it would be nice to have a bit longer of a break.  Elliott was already with my mother and father-in-law and having labs scheduled to check my blood counts just a few days later it made sense to leave him there.  However, him being gone didn't help my mixed emotions about the delay at all.  He is so happy all the time that it helps make me happier and focus on the negatives and the what-ifs that much less as a result.  So, that week felt forever long all at the same time being nice having a bit of time with just Cliff and I. 

The first set of labs was a bust and so was the second - done on January 19th - as my neutrophils were extremely slow in going up.  As soon as we knew there needed to be a delay in treatment Dr F said she would only have me do 3 checks before calling the 6th round of chemo a lost cause and moving on with immunotherapy whenever my counts did get back to normal. So, I've spent the last couple of weeks catching up on housework, enjoying the extra time with Cliff and Elliott, getting a couple of projects that kept getting put off because I was always so tired between rounds of chemo, and Cliff and I went to our first play of the season last night at the Hale Center Theater in Orem.  If you enjoy going to plays and need a good laugh or two or a hundred The Foreigner is a play you must see sometime.

My 3rd check was this morning and surprising to all of us - Dr F, her main nurse, and Cliff and I - my neutrophil counts had gone up just enough to do the last round of chemo.  I am currently writing this while sitting in a room at the Huntsman right now while waiting for chemo to actually get started.  Just last night Cliff asked me if I had a gut feeling about my counts having gone up or not and I said I would be shocked if they had gone up enough based on what they were at just a week ago. After that first week of feeling disappointed and down about the delay and possibly not being able to get the last round of chemo I had gotten to the point where I was back to trusting the process and knowing that however things happened it would all be okay.  So, I would have been alright had this last round not happened but I was pleasantly surprised and am grateful that it is happening simply because it has been making my tumor shrink a bit more with each round and how I will react to immunotherapy is a total unknown.

I have always known that prayer is a wonderful thing and that it works but I am that much more confident in what prayer can accomplish because of the last few weeks. After feeling really down for the first 4 or 5 days after being sent home without doing the 6th round of chemo I had the thought that I needed to pray specifically that I could get back to being happier again and that I would be able to feel at peace with however things continued to happen.  I felt a bit better instantly and felt much better after praying for those two things for just a few days. Then I started praying that I could stop worrying so much about immunotherapy and those worries went away. Cliff and a lot of family members had been praying specifically that my counts would go up in time for me to get the 6th round of chemo and obviously they got there even when no one really expected them too.  Despite my complete confidence in the power of prayer and knowing that God is in complete control it did surprise me a bit how quickly my mood changed and how easy it is it to forget to rely on hope and faith as soon as there is a set back. 

I have mentioned it before but since the 5th round of chemo I have been experiencing what they call Hand and Foot syndrome and let me assure you that is nowhere near as fun as the game hand and foot.  Before anyone asks, no, it is nothing like hand, foot, and mouth which is an infection. Hand and Foot syndrome is a reaction to certain types of chemotherapy and certain other cancer drugs.  If you google it they describe it as if you had gotten a really bad sunburn on your hands and feet.  First they get really red which also happens to be the painful part of the syndrome.  At that time your skin is very sensitive to even just warm water and at least for me simply moving my fingers or putting pressure on my right heel specifically was very painful.  It even hurt when my hands would barely brush up against fabric so even just shifting around during sleep hurts.  Then you skin decides it is going to shed itself like a snake's skin and will apparently do that multiple times.  My hands have mostly finished peeling for the first time but now my feet are peeling everywhere for the second time now.

Thankfully there are some things that can be done to hopefully help it not be as bad after this cycle of chemo.  For one, Dr F has dropped the usual 5th day of chemo - so I'll just have 4 days of it this time - and she has also lowered the dose of the first part of the chemo quite a bit as well.  Then the pharmacist just left not long ago and said they have orders put in for ice packs to be placed on my wrists and ankles while the first part of chemo is administered and to be left until 15 minutes after.  The cold helps restrict blood flow so it's supposed to make less of the chemo be able to get to your hands and feet which in turn will lessen the severity of hand and foot syndrome which I am all for. 

That's all I have for an update for now but as usual thanks for all the prayers and everything else.  Your prayers are working miracles.

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As luck would have it - for better or worse - I already have an update.  I literally had everything above typed and saved just waiting to actually post it when the nurse practitioner came in to let me know that the 6th round of chemo happening isn't a for sure thing yet afterall.  They always get a urine sample before starting chemo to monitor kidney function and it turns out that my urine had a lot of red blood cells present in it.  I think she said the count was 182 or something like that though I'm not entirely sure what that means specifically.  Red blood cells present in urine could mean a few different things.  It could mean that you are menstruating which I am definitely not as I haven't had a period since before my surgery in July.  It could also be a sign of kidney stones or simply a very rare reaction to chemo.  I'm sure there are other things it could be a sign of but those were the ones that were specifically mentioned to me.

So, a technician came and did an ultrasound on me to check my kidneys and my bladder.  They also want to get another urine sample tonight as a double check to see if the amount of red blood cells in the first one was a false extra high amount though even if that's the case they still fully expect the new sample to still have some red blood cells present. They have me on two kinds of fluids that will run all night hoping that it will flush the red blood cells through my system if I don't end up having kidney stones or anything weird seen in my bladder in the ultrasound. The first thing the technician asked was if I was experiencing any pain in my lower abdomen or sharp, stabbing like pain in my lower back.  When I immediately said no he said he would be very surprised if I have kidney stones but that it's obviously a good thing to for sure rule out.

Here's to hoping that I don't have kidney stones and that the 6th round of chemo will actually happen though if it doesn't I will be alright with it because I know God is in control.